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my name is leah, and I have no idea what i'm doing

1. There are plenty of ways to enter a pool. The stairs is not one of them.

2. Never cancel dinner plans by text message.

3. Don’t knock it ‘til you try it.

4. If a street performer makes you stop walking, you owe him a buck.

5. Always use ‘we’ when referring to your home team or your government.

6. When entrusted with a secret, keep it.

7. Don’t underestimate free throws in a game of ‘horse’.

8. Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.

9. Don’t dumb it down.

10. You only get one chance to notice a new haircut.

11. If you’re staying more than one night, unpack.

12. Never park in front of a bar.

13. Expect the seat in front of you to recline. Prepare accordingly.

14. Keep a picture of your first fish, first car, and first boy/girlfriend.

15. Hold your heroes to a high standard.

16. A suntan is earned, not bought.

17. Never lie to your doctor.

18. All guns are loaded.

19. Don’t mention sunburns. Believe me, they know.

20. The best way to show thanks is to wear it. Even if it’s only once.

21. Take a vacation of your cell phone, internet, and TV once a year.

22. Don’t fill up on bread, no matter how good.

23. A handshake beats an autograph.

24. Don’t linger in the doorway. In or out.

25. If you choose to go in drag, don’t sell yourself short.

26. If you want to know what makes you unique, sit for a caricature.

27. Never get your hair cut the day of a special event.

28. Be mindful of what comes between you and the Earth. Always buy good shoes, tires, and sheets.

29. Never eat lunch at your desk if you can avoid it.

30. When you’re with new friends, don’t just talk about old friends.

31. Eat lunch with the new kids.

32. When traveling, keep your wits about you.

33. It’s never too late for an apology.

34. Don’t pose with booze.

35. If you have the right of way, take it.

36. You don’t get to choose your own nickname.

37. When you marry someone, remember you marry their entire family.

38. Never push someone off a dock.

39. Under no circumstances should you ask a woman if she’s pregnant.

40. It’s not enough to be proud of your ancestry; live up to it.

41. Don’t make a scene.

42. When giving a thank you speech, short and sweet is best.

43. Know when to ignore the camera.

44. Never gloat.

45. Invest in good luggage.

46. Make time for your mom on your birthday. It’s her special day, too.

47. When opening presents, no one likes a good guesser.

48. Sympathy is a crutch, never fake a limp.

49. Give credit. Take blame.

50. Suck it up every now and again.

51. Never be the last one in the pool.

52. Don’t stare.

53. Address everyone that carries a firearm professionally.

54. Stand up to bullies. You’ll only have to do it once.

55. If you’ve made your point, stop talking.

56. Admit it when you’re wrong.

57. If you offer to help don’t quit until the job is done.

58. Look people in the eye when you thank them.

59. Thank the bus driver.

60. Never answer the phone at the dinner table.

61. Forgive yourself for your mistakes.

62. Know at least one good joke.

63. Don’t boo. Even the ref is somebody’s son.

64. Know how to cook one good meal.

65. Learn to drive a stick shift.

66. Be cool to younger kids. Reputations are built over a lifetime.

67. It’s okay to go to the movies by yourself.

68. Dance with your mother/father.

69. Don’t lose your cool. Especially at work.

70. Always thank the host.

71. If you don’t understand, ask before it’s too late.

72. Know the size of your boy/girlfriend’s clothes.

73. There is nothing wrong with a plain t-shirt.

74. Be a good listener. Don’t just wait for your turn to talk.

75. Keep your word.

76. In college, always sit in the front. You’ll stand out immediately.

77. Carry your mother’s bags. She carried you for nine months.

78. Be patient with airport security. They’re just doing their jobs.

79. Don’t be the talker in a movie.

80. The opposite sex likes people who shower.

81. You are what you do, not what you say.

82. Learn to change a tire.

83. Be kind. Everyone has a hard fight ahead of them.

84. An hour with grandparents is time well spent. Ask for advice when you need it.

85. Don’t litter.

86. If you have a sister, get to know her boyfriend. Your opinion is important.

87. You won’t always be the strongest or the fastest. But you can be the toughest.

88. Never call someone before 9am or after 9pm.

89. Buy the orange properties in Monopoly.

90. Make the little things count.

91. Always wear a bra at work.

92. There is a fine line between looking sultry and slutty. Find it.

93. You’re never too old to need your mom.

94. Ladies, if you make the decision to wear heels on the first date, commit to keeping them on and keeping your trap shut about how much your feet kill.

95. Know the words to your national anthem.

96. Your dance moves might not be the best, but I promise making a fool of yourself is more fun than sitting on the bench alone.

97. Smile at strangers.

98. Make goals.

99. Being old is not dictated by your bedtime.

100. If you have to fight, punch first and punch hard.


a high school teacher’s list of 100 wisest words (via live-la-bella-e-vita)

naamahdarling:

hauntedsticks:

freckledtrekkie:

becausesometimesdreamsdocometrue:

disney-tasthic:

gastalicious-definition:

disney-tasthic:

globalsoftpirka:

disney-tasthic:

thedisneydifference:

Mulan loved my Mulan pen!
She said, “I love things that have my face on it.”

Wow, Mulan, conceited much ;). Seems like you may have been spending some time with Gaston!

NOOOOOO OOOOOONESHOOTS LIKE MULAN

WEARS MEN’S SUITS LIKE MULAN!

THINKS FAST AND KICKS ASS ON A ROOF LIKE MULAN

MULAN: “I USE AVALANCHES IN ALL OF MY BATTLE SCHEMIIIING!”

NOT QUITE A GUY, THAT MULAN!

WHEN I WAS A GIRL I DRANK 3 CUPS OF TEAEVERY MORNING TO HELP ME GROW STRONG

NOW I’VE GROWN UP I DRINK FIVE CUPS OF TEAAND I DEFEATED THE KING OF THE HUUUUUUUNS

This is the best thing ever.

naamahdarling:

hauntedsticks:

freckledtrekkie:

becausesometimesdreamsdocometrue:

disney-tasthic:

gastalicious-definition:

disney-tasthic:

globalsoftpirka:

disney-tasthic:

thedisneydifference:

Mulan loved my Mulan pen!

She said, “I love things that have my face on it.”

Wow, Mulan, conceited much ;). Seems like you may have been spending some time with Gaston!

NOOOOOO OOOOOONE
SHOOTS LIKE MULAN

WEARS MEN’S SUITS LIKE MULAN!

THINKS FAST AND KICKS ASS ON A ROOF LIKE MULAN

MULAN: “I USE AVALANCHES IN ALL OF MY BATTLE SCHEMIIIING!”

NOT QUITE A GUY, THAT MULAN!

WHEN I WAS A GIRL I DRANK 3 CUPS OF TEA
EVERY MORNING TO HELP ME GROW STRONG

NOW I’VE GROWN UP I DRINK FIVE CUPS OF TEA
AND I DEFEATED THE KING OF THE HUUUUUUUNS

This is the best thing ever.


coelasquid:

nanibgal:

howardhill101:

amymexy:

mr-egbutt:

ascenti:

totallyfubar:

paragonpostcards:

helioscentrifuge:

Sorry not sorry.

The men of tumblr unite. Because this is more than fighting the patriarchy, this is fighting for the voice of the people.

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*Phone rings*

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THE FUCK DID YOU SAY THE PATRIARCHY WAS UP TO?

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I’M ON MY WAY.

*Banana Rings*

Who is this how did you get this numb—THE PATRIARCHY IS DOING WHTA

SAVE SOME PATRIARCH BLOOD FOR US

3:01PM SYDNEY TIME

Hello?

Patriarchy WHAT?!

AW HELL NO

I’M COMIN YOU MOTHERFUCKERS I DON’T EVEN CARE IF THEY DON’T LET ME ON A PLANE

Fucking bro strider come out!! Omg HAHAHAAH I love theses guys

Meanwhile In England……


"Jolly great bit of Tea"

-Phone Rings- 

"THE PATRIARCHY DOING WHAT!?!!?!?!"

"Those Bloody Wankers!!!!!!"

"It Looks Like Tea Time Is Going To Have To Wait"

"It’s A Jolly Good Thing I kept My Old Equipment…."

"All Right Old Chaps, Im On My Way!!!"

"TALLY-HO!!!!!"

I just reblogged this, but IT GOT BETTER.

I almost started crying at that last guy.


extremehomestuckshipping:

extremehomestuckshipping:

yourmanalexsmith:

sunburntmerman:

cryptfly:

recklesscreature:

lucifersnerd:

curvecreation:

little-babytooth:

because you’re dashboard needs a merman.

The amazing Mertailor! He MAKES these tails!

No but seriously
just look

how flipping beautiful

Eric Ducharme/the Mertailor’s tails are.


someone get me one… blue always blue

I CANNOT DEAL WITH HOW PRETTY THESE ARE

SCREAMS

Water is the essence of wetness……and wetness is the essence of beauty



And this post has come full circle

extremehomestuckshipping:

extremehomestuckshipping:

yourmanalexsmith:

sunburntmerman:

cryptfly:

recklesscreature:

lucifersnerd:

curvecreation:

little-babytooth:

because you’re dashboard needs a merman.

The amazing Mertailor! He MAKES these tails!

No but seriously

just look

how flipping beautiful

Eric Ducharme/the Mertailor’s tails are.

someone get me one… blue always blue

I CANNOT DEAL WITH HOW PRETTY THESE ARE

SCREAMS

Water is the essence of wetness…
…and wetness is the essence of beauty

And this post has come full circle


princesswhatevr:

kristenfights:

asanaambitions:

Friendly reminder to check your breasts while you’re just sitting there scrolling the internet, then reblog so your followers do the same. Two people I know were just diagnosed within the same week.

FOREVER RE-BLOG WHEN I SEE THIS ON MY DASH
DO IT LADIES, IT CAN SAVE YOUR LIFE

And remember, all genders can get breast cancer!

princesswhatevr:

kristenfights:

asanaambitions:

Friendly reminder to check your breasts while you’re just sitting there scrolling the internet, then reblog so your followers do the same. Two people I know were just diagnosed within the same week.

FOREVER RE-BLOG WHEN I SEE THIS ON MY DASH

DO IT LADIES, IT CAN SAVE YOUR LIFE

And remember, all genders can get breast cancer!


nightlylouis:

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((Finally. Progress. I love you Germany))

THIS IS FREAKING GREAT


donejustdone:

500daysofevilexes:

loseegoose:

 

This is legit.

More PSAs need to stop worrying about offending people and get down to the nitty gritty like this. It’s the only way to open so many eyes.

shit


spidermashton:

tardis-mind-palace:

clockwork-foxes:

tumbllrisdumb:

plushestrumpest:

30secondstocalifornia:

wingscanspeak:

zorobro:

wingscannotspeak:

peetasboxers:

kissyourneck-slitmythroat:

I showed this post to my boyfriend and he tried to take his shirt off like a girl and 

uh

yeah

Out of the 82k notes my post got this is by far the best comment holy shit thank u for being u

So i tried it both ways and uh

i mean how do you do the first one without pulling out all your hair?

this made me laugh really hard….

and it made me realize that girls and boys pull their shirt off differently. /amazed

but seriously I think girls just do the cross arm thing because of HAIR like demonstrated 

So one year, one URL change, and a hair cut later, I decide to try again… FOR SCIENCE! 

Its not science unless you write it down so 

First method:

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Well done, i guess…

Second:

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I fucked up

Girls… how?

I DON’T UNDERSTAND HOW WE CAN HAVE SUCH DIFFERENT WAYS OF TAKING OFF SHIRTS AND SO MUCH DIFFICULTY DOING IT THE OTHER WAY

I can take my shirt both ways easily, but I usually take it off like….

is this like the genderfluid or agender or something-gender way?

so the girl way

oookay then.

How about the boy way….

WWHAT AM I

Okay, I usually grab from the front of the collar not the back but for the purposes of science…

just grab and pull. Seriously.
Now the cross-arms way.

SHIT SHIT ABORT MISSION ABORT MISSION

THIS IS THE BEST POST IVE SEEN IN MY GODDAMN LIFE


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